I’m actually not a complete grammatical chucklehead, as today’s title might make you think… though I might as well be.
(it doesn’t really matter)
Here’s the thing about grammar: its function is to make clear communication easier and well… clearer… when communicating through the written word.
Or, at least I think so. I can’t see any other function of grammatical rules that would be even remotely useful. (maybe as distractions for our friendly neighborhood grammar police)
Semicolons suck.
No one really knows what their purpose is.
I stumbled across this article today, from Dictionary.com: Is the semicolon just plain silly? How exactly does one use it, and why is it called a “colon?
Here is their explanation:
Though not a period or a comma, the semicolon is often used to list items and link related clauses. When used instead of a period between two sentences, the semicolon links the two and lets the reader know that both sentences have a stronger relationship to each other than the sentences around them.
The comma symbol within the semicolon denotes a slight pause instead of a full stop or period – leading many to incorporate the semicolon within a sentence to hint of fluidity.
Okay, I suppose that’s a reasonable explanation… but here’s the point:
If some function of grammar is confusing enough to need an explanation… it isn’t worth using.
One of the fundamental rules of good copy is that clarity beats persuasion.
One of the reasons why Gary Halbert’s ads were so successful was that they could be read with perfect understanding by a 9-year-old.
If a grammatical rule gets in the way of clear communication, it’s automatically useless and counterproductive.
That’s why I don’t do semicolons.
If I did use it, someone might get yanked out of the “sales trance”, lose their focus and stop reading… even for just a split second. That might cost me a sale.
When in doubt, say it clearly.
What about commas?
Again, to hell with proper grammar. If you want to be an influential writer, here’s how to use commas:
- Read your copy (or blog post, email or tweet, or handwritten brain-dump-on-toilet-paper) out loud.
- Where there is a natural pause in the flow of your words… use a comma.
I learned this little tip from ole Gary H., too.
A few other tips on clear writing:
- Don’t use semicolons, or anything else that might even slightly confuse your reader
- Know your audience, know their language, and use their language
- Don’t use more than one comma in a sentence
- If you need to express more complex thoughts… use ellipses…
- Short, punchy sentences win
- When in doubt, use a period
- Use active sentences (“The boy ate the cake.” vs. “The cake was eaten by the boy.”)
- Remove words like “so” and “that” from your computer’s spellchecker…
so thateach time you use one of them, they’ll get underlined… ask yourself: do they really need to be there?
Next time, take another look at that email before you hit send… and see how you can make your thoughts clearer.
Later.
Linus


